Peace that passes understanding~You are forgiven

Hello, everyone! I have been extremely busy lately with life in general and been having a struggle within myself concerning all of the "bad" things that seem to be falling upon me and my family almost everyday here recently, and have just not been sure what to write to you. I was calling upon the Lord this morning and thanking Him for whatever this miracle is that He is about to work in my life and I just felt I needed to come to the computer. So here I am...
Life is just a financial and mental struggle lately. My internet could go at any moment now as well as my phone. I have been letting this get to me. I need these for my online classes and for my Avon. I can't seem to make time to get my house clean. Emily is struggling with the issue that she does not get a lot of time with me anymore. My cat has become pregnant. Our utility bill is over $300 { in a trailor}. I could go on. I know compared to many, these are not real problems. They are simply facts of life, but I was becoming quite overwhelmed. It seemed like no matter how hard I tried to correct my problems more developed. I felt I could not breathe.
On top of all of this, I felt sorry for an aquaintance who ordered some Avon from me. She did not have the whole amount two weeks ago, but I let her take the merchandise anyway. She was supposed to pay the other $50 by last Thursday. By Saturday I was a wreck. I had to pay it for her in order to place the next orders for my customers which left me with $20. My feelings were hurt. I trusted her when everyone told me not to. This began to turn to anger as I thought about it. I began to stew on it. I ironed Emily's name on the pajamas she ordered for her son. This was the one item from her order I still have in my possession. I kept thinking she was disrespectful to MY family...
Sunday morning I felt tired from all of this worry and anger I was letting take hold of me and I just felt "wrong" yet I kept validating myself; stating my case to myself. Then during Bible study and worship God spoke to me clear as a bell~ I am here to serve HIM. I am here to bring glory to HIM. Stewing over these temporary problems is NOT doing this. Stewing over these things is actually an act of selfishness. God forgave us~no strings attached but that we let Him have the wheel~that we let HIM have the glory, NOT OURSELVES. God forgave us. So we are called to forgive. What is $50 compared to the glory I could have in eternity?
I did some reading in the book of Romans late last night. We are forgiven and set free from the things of this world by the grace of God. Nothing that we do or do not do is going to get us into Heaven or gain us any favor through our Lord, BUT if we truly love Him, we will WANT to do what is right. It will become our nature. Yes, there are going to be times when the sin in the world causes us to stumble~ like I stumbled this past weekend. Only God knows the heart and intentions of others. Even when we believe others are in the wrong, we still are to love them and forgive them as Christ loved us and forgave us when we were still living in sin.
The Lord called upon me and I called back to Him. He took my anger. He took my hurt and my anxiety. My problems are still there, but I just feel peace. Call upon the Lord. He knows your pain; He knows your thoughts. He even knows your name. No matter how trivial people make think your struggle is, the Lord takes it seriously, and He will grant you His peace if you only lay your problems and all of your "negatives" down at His feet. Don't take my word for it. Give it a try. Stop right now and call upon His name. Your burdens will suddenly become light as a feather.
May God bless all of you and grant you His peace as He has me this beautiful morning.

God does not create failures

All of my life I have second guessed myself. Before I went through with any decision I made I had to ask others what they thought, and generally, I went with what they thought. Where did that get me? Nowhere. I was a broken person living for those around me. I had no mental strength at all. I thought I was a useless failure. I never felt true happiness. I just sat around wallowing in self~pity. I really believed I had no place or purpose here; that I was useless and mentally ill. Well, I'M NOT and neither are any of you who may think the same thing!! God loves everyone of us and has a place and purpose for each of us. I used to think that was just words to get people to join a specific "church". In some cases, maybe, but when the words are spoken through the Lord~ then NO THEY ARE NOT. Reach out and listen to Him if too many people have failed you; let HIM lead you. That is how I found that those words are true and continue to be blessed as I continue to let HIM show me....
Anyway, I am writing this because I feel that the more I am blessed and the more I do to improve my well being the more people push against me even those I thought cared for me. I know I have failed tremendously in my past endeavors, but let me tell you something~ In my past I had no confidence which caused me to give up and I had no real support which caused me to fail to see the point and made me feel incredibly weak. BUT now I have the Lord God on my side, and I have become a very strong person through Him and I am VERY confident He will not fail me. God DOES NOT make mistakes, and He DOES NOT let people fail when they are working for His purpose. So if you do not support me and you think I will fail, that is all well and good. Everyone has a right to his opinion, BUT I will prove you wrong this time.
I am not saying there will not be times that I or any christian becomes overwhelmed by worldly pressures and breaks down and or makes mistakes. That is a given, but God is there to pick up the pieces. He gently lifts us up and brushes us off as Brother Paul has said. We may break to the point that we feel we cannot take anymore and think that our world is caving in, but if we just cry out to Him and pour our souls out and let Him have our pain and sadness and..He will heal us. He will get us there. We WILL NOT FAIL. I am CONFIDENT. GOD DOES NOT FAIL THOSE WHO ARE WORKING TO SERVE HIS PURPOSE. So if you doubt me being a success in my endeavors, you doubt God.
I had to put this out in the open because I feel that people I expected support from are only offering discouragement, but that is all well and good because the more you try to discourage me, the more I am gonna call upon the Lord's strength and the harder I am gonna push to prove you wrong~just like when people doubted I could raise Emily.... The Lord is my Rock, my Redeemer and my mighty strength!!!! Praise His name. Lord, You are the First, the Last, and the Encore...
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose"~ Romans8:28

P.S.
I am officially enrolled in online classes! I have my first assignment and am ready to roll!!! THANK YOU< LORD!!!

Take My Life (And Let It Be) Chris Tomlin [Lyrics]