Hello, everyone! I have been extremely busy lately with life in general and been having a struggle within myself concerning all of the "bad" things that seem to be falling upon me and my family almost everyday here recently, and have just not been sure what to write to you. I was calling upon the Lord this morning and thanking Him for whatever this miracle is that He is about to work in my life and I just felt I needed to come to the computer. So here I am...
Life is just a financial and mental struggle lately. My internet could go at any moment now as well as my phone. I have been letting this get to me. I need these for my online classes and for my Avon. I can't seem to make time to get my house clean. Emily is struggling with the issue that she does not get a lot of time with me anymore. My cat has become pregnant. Our utility bill is over $300 { in a trailor}. I could go on. I know compared to many, these are not real problems. They are simply facts of life, but I was becoming quite overwhelmed. It seemed like no matter how hard I tried to correct my problems more developed. I felt I could not breathe.
On top of all of this, I felt sorry for an aquaintance who ordered some Avon from me. She did not have the whole amount two weeks ago, but I let her take the merchandise anyway. She was supposed to pay the other $50 by last Thursday. By Saturday I was a wreck. I had to pay it for her in order to place the next orders for my customers which left me with $20. My feelings were hurt. I trusted her when everyone told me not to. This began to turn to anger as I thought about it. I began to stew on it. I ironed Emily's name on the pajamas she ordered for her son. This was the one item from her order I still have in my possession. I kept thinking she was disrespectful to MY family...
Sunday morning I felt tired from all of this worry and anger I was letting take hold of me and I just felt "wrong" yet I kept validating myself; stating my case to myself. Then during Bible study and worship God spoke to me clear as a bell~ I am here to serve HIM. I am here to bring glory to HIM. Stewing over these temporary problems is NOT doing this. Stewing over these things is actually an act of selfishness. God forgave us~no strings attached but that we let Him have the wheel~that we let HIM have the glory, NOT OURSELVES. God forgave us. So we are called to forgive. What is $50 compared to the glory I could have in eternity?
I did some reading in the book of Romans late last night. We are forgiven and set free from the things of this world by the grace of God. Nothing that we do or do not do is going to get us into Heaven or gain us any favor through our Lord, BUT if we truly love Him, we will WANT to do what is right. It will become our nature. Yes, there are going to be times when the sin in the world causes us to stumble~ like I stumbled this past weekend. Only God knows the heart and intentions of others. Even when we believe others are in the wrong, we still are to love them and forgive them as Christ loved us and forgave us when we were still living in sin.
The Lord called upon me and I called back to Him. He took my anger. He took my hurt and my anxiety. My problems are still there, but I just feel peace. Call upon the Lord. He knows your pain; He knows your thoughts. He even knows your name. No matter how trivial people make think your struggle is, the Lord takes it seriously, and He will grant you His peace if you only lay your problems and all of your "negatives" down at His feet. Don't take my word for it. Give it a try. Stop right now and call upon His name. Your burdens will suddenly become light as a feather.
May God bless all of you and grant you His peace as He has me this beautiful morning.
